all we can do is keep breathing declarations: nyc day 1279

12.08.10 

TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION of grounding forces, the normal force and the power of damn good pancakes. TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION of my own brand of jazz. TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION of the typography of fine hands.

I AM BEING a sky castle, a reflecting globe, a tilting space. I AM BEING the continuum of the convex and the concave. I AM BEING a summer solstice son at the cusp of a mama’s boy winter.

I AM RELEASING the rule of threes when it comes to fatal flaws. I AM RELEASING halfsies on my failings. I AM RELEASING my own tally of hamartia.  I AM RELEASING the yellow ribbon, the game tree, the proper protocol in diving in. I AM RELEASING the politics of intelligence and the intelligible politik. I AM RELEASING London. I AM RELEASING the banking system and its defiant formality in the face-to-face. I AM RELEASING this collage of script and spiel. I AM RELEASING the air-sentence-diagrams.

I AM CREATING a less judgmental marlonius thunk. I AM CREATING a new rosetta stone. I AM CREATING a goal tree that terminates with impeccable eye contact. I AM CREATING an unerring acceptance in the universe.

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY LIFE IS the comfort of congruence. I LOVE when students miss me. I LOVE (it just a lil bit), when they lose their minds without me. I LOVE when the grades they think they’ve earned match precisely with my calculated grade. I LOVE knowing that i can do this for a long time and never get bored. I LOVE the morning walk, the acknowledging nod g'morn from Queens Blvd regulars. I LOVE the time and the means for daily coffee. I LOVE the rush to get things done, but done right and without regret. I LOVE the pride in one’s face, even after a tough loss. I LOVE that my capacity to love equals my capacity to love running.   I LOVE the cold, the unforgiving hills, the deep exposure to my fear of failure and embarrassment. I LOVE learning to accept every last impediment that comes to bear in my relationship with my best self. I LOVE the infallible run. I LOVE this blinding radiance helping me put one foot in front of the other. I LOVE the trusty spoon. I LOVE the spit and shine of it all. I LOVE catching my breath, preparing for what’s around the bend.

I CELEBRATE AND NURTURE MY EXISTENCE as ‘nuff said. g’nite.