it’s been a long, long time declarations: nyc day 1283

12.12.10 

TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION of long mileage and even longer commutes. TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION of new hands across old heartstrings. TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION of all things changing, of nothing i need hold on to.

I AM BEING a bottomless cup of tea. I AM BEING a search for all the ginger in woodside. I AM BEING a slow burn, without candle ends.

I AM RELEASING the heart rate, the stride, the cumulative distance of should, almost, and just enough. I AM RELEASING my untimely interjections of lists. I AM RELEASING the prototype, the protective bubble of literature, the hallowed hall. I AM RELEASING the chase, the comfort of quick wit, the recursion in sarcasm. I AM RELEASING quid pro quo, contra principia negantem non est disputandum, ab absurdo. I AM RELEASING the rule of threes, really, really now. I AM RELEASING the sacred hideout, guarded with unreasonable mythos.  I AM RELEASING an unnecessary shibboleth. I AM RELEASING lost wagers, having to read Eat, Pray, Love. 

I AM CREATING a language for this love, without exception. I AM CREATING a clearer path home. I AM CREATING mindfulness. 

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY LIFE IS no neck strain post-first-row hp7. I LOVE the wait for folks you know will be there. I LOVE never being on schedule, but always on time. I LOVE the endless playlist. I LOVE the recognizable pattern of good music and the surprise changes in the best. I LOVE the morning attempt at a “fun run.” I LOVE the search for just the right gift wrap. I LOVE hottie santas and their willingness to save seats for marlin-martin-whoever-you-are-cuteness. I LOVE running with E and Z. I LOVE the city i’d never see otherwise. I LOVE food as finish lines. I LOVE the dash in the home stretch. I LOVE not being sore, relatively. I LOVE a potential day between BAM and the brooklyn museum. I LOVE 2am sobriety, relatively. I LOVE readily available hot chocolate. I LOVE the uncertainty of a difficult read. I LOVE that there is no timetable for any of this. I LOVE that a change is gonna come, by open hand and open heart. 

I CELEBRATE AND NURTURE MY EXISTENCE in my house. pictures on the wall.