ornate noun declarations: nyc day 1278

12.07.10 

TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION of the miracle of belief in blue passports and Philippine Airlines.  TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION of the intended interpretation of the symbols. TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION of dusty grooves.

I AM BEING hella cancerian, a double water sign, and doubly so. I AM BEING not a bit tamed. I AM BEING untranslatable. I AM BEING a barbaric YAWP over the roofs of the world.

I AM RELEASING the voice i regained only to lose again. I AM RELEASING a season opening loss. I AM RELEASING lost plays—CAROLINA, DUKE, MIKE1, STACK1, and STACK2. I AM RELEASING my anger, my quick judgment, my look of disappointment. I AM RELEASING the 2.5lbs i lost while recovering. I AM RELEASING the inefficacy of timesheets and student data left at school. I AM RELEASING the double-tilde, the switcheroo, and what the hell—the contrapositive. I AM RELEASING that which can only, if one were to only release the ax and the anvil, save me from my own old theorem. I AM RELEASING my fear of zones of proximal developing relationships: friend, buddy, homie. I AM RELEASING my fear of these ACT II tragedies. I AM RELEASING semi-interpretations and waiting for the tortoise to talk down achilles from such terrible footholds. I AM RELEASING my ease at being alone, not by choice but by habit.

I AM CREATING a stronghold for the heart. I AM CREATING the crab canon. I AM CREATING a string which talks about itself without code. I AM CREATING love despite myself.

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY LIFE IS a frig with three types of soup brought by three different hands. I LOVE the three layers in recovery time. I LOVE surprising folk by jumping from art to us history to physics. I LOVE remembering Dr. Peisker’s daily quizzes. I LOVE that my signature (E²) is an homage to his: p² I LOVE when my heart crushes hard. I LOVE that i get to run in CP tomorrow. I LOVE my YAWPers worldwide! I LOVE impending reunions. I LOVE that this mind is Buddha, and this mind is not Buddha. I LOVE the little harmonic labyrinth. I LOVE that i am as complete as i allow myself to be. I LOVE you out there, reading this, who may make this completeness real. I LOVE that ultimately, it isn’t all that deep. I’m all good.

I CELEBRATE AND NURTURE MY EXISTENCE as living proof. we must be in love.