TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION of the timetable of binary stars. TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION of what the body reflects in the faintest muscle memory. TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION of what i need when i forget what i need.
I AM BEING a day closer to remembering everything. I AM BEING a day closer to ending this love affair with countdowns. I AM BEING in love five times a day and always in time with the seasons.
I AM RELEASING my fear that i am a ‘D,’ a left-over man. I AM RELEASING things that are just that, things. I AM RELEASING books of verse—the lines were rightfully stolen and have stolen me. I AM RELEASING my need for ‘mastery.’ I AM RELEASING the obsession with recursion, a self-made standard for magnifying flaws. I AM RELEASING my lawless nature to chemistry. I AM RELEASING silly mourning for the do-anything-for-me lover.
I AM CREATING my bed, not a second dresser. I AM CREATING a soundtrack of my intentions, a love of my life. I AM CREATING, period.
WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY LIFE IS i haven’t called in sick since may. I LOVE having to force myself to not work out. I LOVE thinking about the next run. I LOVE the challenge of distance, the comfort of knowing i’ve done it before. I LOVE expert calves, the body that knows its training. I LOVE fresh baked cookies at 3am. I LOVE organic oreos. I LOVE the hint of mint. I LOVE that my body speaks true. I LOVE deep acupressure. I LOVE that i won’t settle, have ridiculous standards, that i know what my heart deserves. I LOVE that i know that soulmates exist. I LOVE that friends attempt their rescues, by kind word, congee, and graphic organizer. I LOVE that i clean up nicely. I LOVE that when i turn to my left, medals and the word of god; when i turn to my right, family & verse i love. I LOVE that my cuddle bud is a hypoallergenic pillow and not a 25yr-old hot mess. I LOVE the honest attempt at feng shui, and an honest attempt at, well, an honest attempt.
I CELEBRATE AND NURTURE MY EXISTENCE as a hella stand-up guy; at least a C; and ready to get back to work.
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