TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION of marathons without the clamour of feet. TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION of the geography of my own hamartia. TODAY, I AM THE REALIZATION of the scholarship of tables, turning.
I AM BEING thirty-six. I AM BEING a fresh vision board. I AM BEING fresh kicks, fresh air, a Jackson Heights fresh batch of empanadas.
I AM RELEASING a week of point differentials. I AM RELEASING my fear to ask and be asked. I AM RELEASING the chore of g, an acceleration due to needless gravitas. I AM RELEASING fatherlessness & childlessness. I AM RELEASING everything hanging overhead, over my head. I AM RELEASING love, misdirected and misguided. I AM RELEASING bright star, 1Q84, the need for translations now and handwritten and in english firsthand. I AM RELEASING the search for a perfect profile, a response too perfect to take seriously.
I AM CREATING a manuscript to write home about. I AM CREATING a manuscript of maps my lover knows, a legend by her design. I AM CREATING a book that speaks of more than stolen sleep. I AM CREATING target dates.
WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MY LIFE IS the abundance of ways to warm the heart. I LOVE being part of a running family. I LOVE full recovery, productive pain, purposeful rest. I LOVE the unexpected ‘thank you,’ ‘please,’ and “god bless you.’ I LOVE calling one m’dear, m’love, m’prend. I LOVE the vulnerability of heavy breathing, the exposure to the chill, the desire to ascend. I LOVE running beside, behind, just ahead of her. I LOVE brunch and ketchups and walking it out. I LOVE the magic of extra miles. I LOVE the church bulletin, just enough faith, just enough cynicism to be a charming. I LOVE the rewards of preparation, the spoils of the 7 train, the clearest path home in years.
I CELEBRATE AND NURTURE MY EXISTENCE as a gentleman, c’walking on the yellow brick road that winds the wasteland of my would-be scholarship.
No comments:
Post a Comment